Confidence Doesn’t Always Shout: Why Quiet Strength Matters in Work and Life
- Astrid van Essen
- Sep 16
- 4 min read
We all know the pressure: job adverts packed with words like dynamic, bold, innovative. CVs littered with “high-energy” and “results-driven.” The message is clear — if you don’t sound like a game-changer, you may as well not apply.

But here’s the truth: confidence doesn’t always shout. Sometimes it listens. Sometimes it pauses. Sometimes it shows up with quiet strength that’s harder to label, but no less powerful.
This is where the tension lies. We want to be hired, but we also want to be seen for who we are. And sometimes, being authentic feels like the riskiest move of all.
The Pressure to Perform
From the moment we step into the job market, we’re taught to perform. To impress in interviews, to show up as the perfect culture fit, to talk solutions even before we’ve understood the problem.
But this performance has a cost. If we project a version of ourselves that doesn’t align with how we naturally work, we not only risk burnout, we also risk ending up in roles that don’t truly suit us.
Vulnerability as Strength
I recently read a LinkedIn post where someone described themselves on their CV as “quietly confident.” Their friend called it brave. And it is. Because it pushes back against the expected script.
Choosing words like that signals a different kind of confidence: one that doesn’t need to shout to be heard. Vulnerability, naming who you really are, might feel risky, but it’s also magnetic. It resonates with the right people and repels the wrong ones.
Redefining Confidence
I remember being expected to immediately lead a client meeting. The pressure was clear: start talking “solutions” right away, impress with bold ideas, prove my worth.
The reality? I’d never met the client before and didn’t yet understand their business. Throwing out half-formed ideas just to sound impressive felt dishonest and wrong. So instead, I listened. I paid attention to what was said — and what wasn’t. Experience has taught me that often, the real issues are hidden beneath the surface.
But instead of being valued for listening, I received a lot of flack because I didn’t perform “as expected.” That moment was eye-opening. It wasn’t a question of whether I was good enough; it was a sign I was in the entirely wrong place for me.
For me, confidence doesn’t mean dominating the room. It means having the patience to listen, the curiosity to understand, and the discipline to digest before I speak. That’s not hesitation — it’s simply how my brain works. And I stand by it. That’s grounded confidence.
Making Space for Every Voice
The problem isn’t just with individuals trying to fit a mould, it’s also with how teams are built.
When building a team, it’s wise to assess all the players. What are their strengths? Their blind spots? How can they complement each other? A strong team is like a puzzle, each piece fitting together to create something greater.
Too often, though, managers hire people who look and sound like themselves. It’s less about truly seeing the candidate, and more about projection: seeing what they want to see. The result? Teams that are one-dimensional, missing out on the richness that comes from diversity of thought and style.
True leadership is about making space for every voice; not cloning yourself.
The Takeaway – The Real You Is Enough
Authenticity is not just about personal branding; it’s about sustainability. When you show up as the real you, you attract roles where you’ll actually thrive, not just survive. Following through on this can mean facing rejection, something no one enjoys, but those rejections are simply signs that you’re not in the right place or talking to the right person. They clear the path towards opportunities that fit you better.
And when leaders hire with authenticity in mind, they build stronger, more balanced teams. So don’t feel pressured to be something you’re not. Confidence can be bold and dynamic. But it can also be quiet, thoughtful, and methodical. Both have value. Both are needed.
Do Your Research Too
Authenticity goes both ways. You can judge a book by its cover, but digging deeper often pays off. Before stepping into a new role or organisation, do your research. Platforms like Glassdoor, LinkedIn, or even a quick scan of employee reviews can reveal how a company really treats its people.
This isn’t about being cynical, it’s about protecting your energy. If you know that your style of confidence is quiet, thoughtful, or reflective, then you want to join a place that values those qualities. Research helps you avoid wasting time trying to fit into the wrong environment and gives you a clearer sense of whether the culture matches your values.
Confidence Doesn’t Always Shout Conclusion
The truth is simple: being “the real me” is not only enough, it’s powerful.
Because the right opportunities, the right people, the right teams: they’ll see you. Not the polished façade, not the performance, but the person who shows up with honesty, substance, and confidence that runs deep.
The world doesn’t need a performance. It needs the real you.
FAQs
1: Why is authenticity important in personal branding?
Authenticity ensures you’re hired for who you truly are, leading to better alignment with your role and team.
2: How can I show authenticity in my CV?
Choose words that genuinely reflect your working style, even if they’re less conventional. “Quietly confident” can be just as powerful as “bold leader.”
3: Won’t being authentic hurt my chances of getting hired?
Not at all. It filters out mismatches and helps you find roles where you’ll succeed long-term.
4: What if my authentic self is introverted or quiet?
Quiet confidence is a strength. It brings balance, thoughtfulness, and depth to any team.
5: How do managers benefit from hiring authentically?
When leaders hire beyond projection and bias, they build stronger, more diverse teams where every style has space to thrive.




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